If you ask anyone who has met me for even 10 minutes to describe me in a few words, I can tell you what they’ll say. I’m bubbly, and happy, and giggly. Those are always my defining features because that is what I try to present myself as, even since I was a little kid. Everyone has always been amazed at how I’m so cheerful all the time.
And it’s good. I always like being the happy one. But the problem is, when you’re the happy one for too long, it seems like something you can’t ever take a break. You can’t ever be sad, or else the universe will explode and everyone will be angry at you for daring to have other emotions. It starts to feel like something you’re trapped in instead of something genuine, and that’s pretty scary.
But that’s all just a bit silly.
The reality is, we all get sad. and angry. and disappointed. and hurt. Despite what we let other people see, we all have the entire emotional spectrum. Even those of us who try to hide it.
And that’s okay.
But it’s so hard to admit that that’s okay, especially when you focus a lot on being happy. Recently, my roommate Madelynne wrote her own blog post about her feelings, and I realized that me and her are in the same place. And it’s an important thing to acknowledge.
So this is it. This is me saying that sometimes I’m sad. Sometimes I hate the whole world and I feel like everything is terrible and I don’t want to smile ever again. And a lot of times, those feelings are happening when I’m out giggling with my friends and hiding my feelings. Because it’s scary to let people know how you feel. And it’s scary to feel like you’re letting people down. And it’s scary to think that maybe people won’t like the real you.
Madelynne and I have been opening up to each other more recently. And even if it’s just one person we’re letting see us in our saddest states, it’s better than keeping it all in. We’ve been crying a bit and hugging a lot and letting each other know when we’re having a bad day. And I’m super glad we’re finally embracing how we feel.
And guess what? Once you have someone else who knows what’s going on, it’s so much easier to be happy again. Even if you need professional help, or if it’s just your friends, or two wonderful guys named Ben and Jerry, you’ll be able to get out of your funk with some help. So don’t be afraid to open up.
Just take some deep breaths.
It’ll be okay, even if it’s not right now.
PS:
Here’s a list of things that can always make you at least a little happy if you need a quick fix:
- friends
- ice cream
- dogs
- flowers
- sunny days
- cleaning your room
- wearing your best clothes
- going for a run outside
- picnics
- sunsets
- sunrises
- making to do lists and getting everything done
- playing your favorite song loudly on repeat
good luck out there guys!
Cities and Waves 